Friday 5 June 2015

Quhit ae guddle?

Dinnae git me wrang, am no decryin thit a high heid screiver o' Scottis a clamjamwhamfrey o an idea, ken, bit quhit speil o Scottis is tae be the wan oor Estaites tak up tae tell o their thochts an doins?

Nae matter quhit dialec thon Estaites tak up as 'proper Scottis' maist fowk'll tak tae girnin' abit wha's wrang  an hoo it shud hae been Glasgae an na Lallands ir Doric. Thon' ll be a sair fecht wi aabodies snebs oot o kilter lik a quine left behint at thon altar. Sae quhits tae be done?

I had a thocht about thon an eftair delvin in the auld scrievins o the Estaites maybees we wid hae to tak the Latin fir the wurks o the fowk thir. Sae a pit tae min an hae'd a squint at quhit thon id look lik. Tak a sec an ponder quhit and hoo ye wid pit the thochts o' those fowk speirin tae tak wurds doon wi yer keelyvine as ane o the Estaites recorders. Noo am frae Fife sae ye'll be forgivin me for screivin Lallands ma wey.

Sae in ma Scottis a jottin doon o the Estaites business cud be:


"Thon member frae Pitbauchlie taks the flair tae gie a shoogle tae the Government an thon Estaites anent Cameron's plans tae send Alba doon the big syver intae thon Thames alang wi aa thon ither shite, wi his likspittle plans tae hud oan tae mair o Alba's goud fir hisel an Lunnon."

In the oudest wheen o days that wid be precised an scrieved in Latin by the priests is:

"Ecce Alba! Camermoronus Scotorum clocoa maxima con excrementorum ab Thamius
expediamus ." ir sic lik. 

Noo takin thon Latin dis hae its advantages fir sure bit the screivers at oor gallus Estaites hav nae the Latin these days an it wid nae be much use tae us plebs wha cannae read oor ane tongue, lit alan Latin, cus it has'nae been screived fir years as we've aa been telt tae speil an speir the 'Quines Englis', is the Gaelic ir Scottis has bin lang helt the language o thon skelly fowk wi nae brains an short a few slices aff a fu loaf an aa.

Wi fowk fu aa the Bruse an his ilk jist noo we cud tak a lead frae his Estatites o 1328 bit thin we hae tae still tak a common speil tae scrieve quiht wis gangin oan as the Church Estaite wis intae Latin, thon belted lairds wid be posh speilin in French whilst the guid burghers wid be talkin ten tae the douzen in Scottis ir Gaelic. Noo thon Bruse wis a cannyman and cud speil in aa these toungues, wi ilka o the Greek an aa, bit they aa decided wan tounge fir aa the scrievin o the Estaites doins and blethers.

Sae help ma boab, aa am hopin sense will gree an, tho it maks me siccar tae tell, maks a choice tae use the 'Quines Englis' is thit'll stop a load of bickers and stramash abit quhit wey o Scottis shud the Estaites mak the use o. Am no sayin na tae hae a Gaelic ir a Scottis translation bit wi hae tae tak a burthen o common sense an sic lik afore it aa gangs a gley an aa coups intae tears.

Ah ken Scottis wis the wey aa ancient bards sic as Dunbar speilled tae tell tae us oor past. Thit Burns has ta'en tae the Wurld as Alba's voice an Muir wurked tae stap frae dein oot in the saxties. It is a fine tounge tae thirl tae, fu o onomatopoeia (wurds which mak the sound o quiht they ir) an reeking rich in aa the colours aa a rainbow, there's nae wurd in 'Quines Englis' that maks ye ken the weather better thin 'dreich' ir describes a wee path lik 'snicket' ir soaks ye tae chill tae yer bains lik 'Haar'. Lallands is an affy braw toungue an deservin o a place in oor skuils, aifter aa e'en the posh fowk o Morningside or Mulingavie mak use o' it tho they dinnae ken they dae ir pretend they dinnae.

Sae dinnae git me wrang, am aa fir Scottis as it is aa aboot me aa day, jist maybees na whin it comes tae screivin the doins aa the Estaites.

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